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  • Writer's pictureBethany Nicole

The Secret Energetics of Relationships

Learn The Rules Of The Game So You Can Play To Win

love energy

Relationships have their own energetics and rules of engagement.

Are you following them? Are you even aware they exist?

If not, you are in the right place! There are secret energetics behind relationships and once you crack the code--your dating life will be a breeze. You will attract more aligned partnerships and see less of old patterns popping up.

You will also be able to bring in relationships that thrive and create long-term commitment and involvement.

Here is the secret behind relationship energetics and how to play them to your advantage.

1. You Are What You Seek

woman posing with flowers

Often the very things we seek in others, are the traits we most desire to see in ourselves. It's all about the energetics of authenticity. We often seek on the outside what we want on the inside. When we begin to realize that the exciting, free-spirited traits we seek in another we can actually have in ourselves, the game changes.

Often people seek out in others the traits they want in themselves but then hold resentment around that. They find a partner who embodies those traits, but then there is that little voice in their head that says things like:

"Well, it must be nice to just blow off work" or "Must be nice to just travel and not have to worry about it" without realizing they have those options themselves!

They also look to others to make them feel a certain way(loved, desired, excited, passionate) and then feel disappointment when they can't fulfill that always. Yet the truth is no one can give us those feelings or experiences without us first being able to receive them, to feel comfortable giving them to ourselves.

We then begin to look for partnership from a place of how they complement or add to our lives as opposed to how they fix or create it for us.

2. Become What You Want

woman blowing scarf in the breeze(red)

Sometimes when we begin to step into the lives we most want and that feel most authentic to us, our list of a dream partner immediately morphs and some former things on the list evaporate altogether! For example, I've seen people whose original lists said things like "Needs to make over $100,000" but after stepping into their most abundant selves, they suddenly decided they would prefer someone who was passionate about their position, regardless of the financial compensation.

When we are looking at our list, we can begin to see what we truly value and desire in life, and even what we feel is lacking in our own. So if you are asking for.a partner who is financially stable and emotionally available, but you aren't embodying those things, now you have an excellent place to start your own inner work. This type of work will improve the dynamic of all aspects of your life and relationships, you will begin to see immediate improvements and changes and soon your list(and life) might begin to look completely different.

We are always giving ourselves clues to growth, and partnerships are one of the biggest ways we do that. It is one of the most simple and straightforward ways to get our own attention. So when you are dropping hints for yourself in the form of partnership lists, take that advice and watch your world change!

3. Where Your Attention Goes, Your Energy Flows

woman standing in front of ocean

Our dating lives may seem complicated but they are actually fairly simple. If you don't like something don't engage with it. If you like it, give it a lot of energy and attention and watch it expand. It's the same as how you use social media. If something comes across your feed you don't like, you just scroll on by. If you do like something, you engage with it. Lots of likes, comments, shares, whatever. Then the algorithm picks up on that and sends you more things like it without you even needing to ask. Your attention and energy create that change in your environment. That is how we are co-creators of our own reality. Think of your dating life as an Instagram feed and the universe as an algorithm(because it is.)

Then if you see a pattern or something come across your dating life you REALLY don't like--speak it out. Tell the universe you are done with this pattern and withdraw your energy completely. The same as on Instagram when you click the "hide from my feed, " block" or "report" buttons. It sends a very clear signal, do not send me this type of stuff anymore.

The universe also pays attention to that. Then you simply refocus your attention on what you do want and give it a lot of engagement. The algorithm gets the memo and fills your feed with more things like it.

4. Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe

woman holding arms up to the sky

If you are resentful, angry, or victimized then you will attract people who make you feel resentful, angry, and victimized. It's the law of the universe, your vibe attracts your tribe. So if the people in your life continue to act out the unfortunate patterns of your past, then loop back to rule number __ and immediately withdraw your energy. Stop engaging with your previous patterns and recognize the experience for what it is. The sooner you can spot the red flags of a repeat, the quicker you can withdraw your energy and begin to dig deep into why it is still appearing in your life.

If you have something hanging around in your past or subconscious aka resentment or feelings of injustice, then you will continue to loop those on repeat until they are healed. Re-sentment, Re-peat, see the similarity? So if you see a familiar pattern coming around the bend, stop it in its tracks, speak it out for what it is, and begin to look at where within you it might be coming from.

The number one mistake I see here is people externalizing the problem or creating generalizations. "All women are liars," All men cheat," Marriage doesn't work" etc. Just because it is your looping experience of something does not mean it is a fact of nature, it just means you are creating it in your reality over and over in an attempt to heal it at its root. Once you do that Poof it seems to magically disappear from your experience.

To Sum It All Up...

love neon sign

The Rules of Engagement in dating and relationships are not as complicated as they may initially appear. If you like something--give it attention, if you don't--don't. There are more layers and some behind-the-scenes hacks but it all comes down to a few basic principles.

Now you have the tools to begin co-creating your dating life and even your world! I can't wait to see what you come up with and how your life will now change infinitely for the better.

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